Emotional Weight Loss - Part 1
I’ve thought for awhile that while my physical weight seems to come off relatively easily (you know, with the basic eat-right/exercise often activities) it seems to take a little more time for the emotional “weight” to come off. While I’m no longer physically the fat girl that I always felt I was, I still feel like the fat girl emotionally. I think that’s probably my biggest struggle because I don’t have a way to see results like I do with my physical weight. I can step on the scale and know when another pound has melted, but there’s just no way I can visualize my results in the emotional arena. I still feel like I’m being judged or overlooked because I still feel like the fat girl. In the past few years I have had some issues (to put it calmly and mildly) with a few of my husband’s family members. To make a long story very short, they made quite a few judgments about me and felt compelled to tell my husband (and everyone else) about all of my shortcomings, real or imagined. Now, I know I have shortcomings and I’ll be the first to admit them, but they went so far as complaining that I’m too close to my family and questioning the decisions that we have made regarding raising our children. I’ve never gotten over that hurt, and the thing is, I’m angry with myself for not standing up and saying “it’s not okay!” At Christmas this year I thought (I should have known, and that’s why it neither surprises me nor gets to me) that maybe they’d mention my weight loss - they didn’t. Hopefully they see that the fat girl of years past is now the girl who will not be treated with such hatefulness and disrespect. I owe it to myself to stand up for myself. I owe it to my daughters to stand up for myself. I owe it to myself to forgive myself for not having the confidence to stand up for myself the first few times it happened. That’s what I’m working on - forgiving myself. It’s just another step in the journey…
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It’s hard to put away the emotional weight. I wish you the best. Family members can be mean especially in laws. I wouldn’t let them get to you. You are a good person and shame on anyone who can’t see that. Good luck!
It is not OK that they speak to you and of you like that.
They may not have mentioned your weight loss to you…but I assure you they noticed it.
More than likely they saw it as a huge, blinking, neon sign that read ” BEWARE: I have taken back the power in my life.”
You deserve to be treated with dignity and respect, not just because you have lost weight… you deserved it before your amazing success. You deserve it just because of the fact that you exist.
Okay, so I wrote you this novel this morning and then when I submitted it, it was gone! Long story short, I felt you were writing about my life there for a minute! I know all about In-laws and what pains in the tushes they can be. I am so proud of you for standing up for yourself and knowing that you are a stronger person because of their negative actions! Keep it going girlfriend, you have us all cheering for you!
I understand what you mean with the emotinal weight. It is hard to feel differently about yourself after you have had one train of thought for so long. It will change in time, just don’t be so hard on yourself. You did a great thing for yourself and your family by choosing to get healthy. As for the family memembers talking, I think you need to stand your ground and show them that you can hold your own. Maybe they don’t mention your weightloss because they are jealous in some way. That is how my family is. You know you have come a long way with your weight. I know it is nice to be recognized for all your hard work though. Don’t let them win by keeping you down. Show them how strong you really are.